How Nature and Nurture Shapes Our True Happiness.

Have you ever felt like true happiness is just out of reach? One moment, you feel it deeply, and the next—puff—it’s gone.

Why does happiness seem so fleeting, and how can you make it a lasting part of your life, every minute of every day?

The truth is, happiness starts with you and with a deeper understanding of who you are. To truly reach a state of inner happiness, first you have to want to be happy.

In today’s world, we face countless distractions and comparisons, particularly through social media. We’re bombarded with an endless stream of advice, motivational quotes, and quick fixes on why happiness is important to our state of being. So much of what we see on-line feels like —a promise of happiness without any real substance or a clear path to get us there.

This is why I was inspired to write this blog. My hope is that the information I share with your will bring you one step closer to discovering your inner happiness. Because when you do, you can start live life as your authentic self, every day—and right now, the world could use more people who are genuinely happy and content,

and you deserve to be one of them.

What is True Happiness and How Do We Get There?

So, what does 'happiness' even mean?

Here's my interpretation of happiness: True happiness is a state of being — in flow—where your thoughts, feelings, and actions flow from a place of peace, love, joy, and authenticity.

Reaching this state, where you feel whole and “in flow”—is much like tending to a garden. It requires consistent care, attention, nurturing, and weeding out what no longer serves you. With time and a little self-compassion, you’ll rediscover your true state of being—finding the inner peace you were always meant to live from.

Signs You’re Out of Alignment with Your True Self

It may start with a fleeting thought or a nagging feeling that something isn’t quite right. Things that never bothered you before suddenly start to niggle or even frustrate you.

At this time, an inner voice might surface, posing questions that you’ve never fully stopped to considered before: Am I happy with my life? What’s really important to me? or Why do I feel unsettled and anxious most of the time? 

You may even question, Do I truly like the people I’ve chosen to surround myself with? 

These reflections can arise at any point in your life, often triggering subtle mental, emotional, and physical sensations that signal something is off and you're not at peace with yourself. This realisation can feel confusing or even overwhelming. Ignoring these thoughts, feelings, or sensations may seem like an easier path to avoid discomfort, but doing so only keeps you stuck and further disconnected from your true self.

It takes courage to explore these reflections and uncover what’s truly going on. Yes, it can feel intimidating at first—where do you even begin? Diving deep into your inner world means confronting aspects of yourself that you may have subconsciously avoided all along.

When faced with these moments, you have two choices: continue to ignore the signals and numb the discomfort, or—where many hesitate and feel unsure—lean into curiosity. Embracing curiosity allows you to explore what’s happening without self-judgment or criticism, helping you understand what’s out of alignment and guiding you back to your true self.

How Nature and Nurture Shape Our Happiness and Identity

Let’s get curious! Deep down, we all have a fundamental drive to live in alignment with who we truly are. Yet, the journey to reach this authentic state isn’t always straightforward. Our early childhood experiences and emotional responses to the world around us shape us in ways that can sometimes pull us away from our true selves.

What you may not realise is that from the very beginning, two powerful forces influence who we are being: Nature (who we are innately) and Nurture (our life experiences and environment). These two forces interact continuously throughout our lives, often competing to shape how we think, feel, and respond to our environment. The dominant force ultimately guides who we become and how we live—either in harmony or out of balance.

Which is the most powerful force?

Our need for acceptance and to fit in at childhood often leads to Nurture overshadowing our true selves - Nature. Nurture begins to mould our identity based on external expectations and our emotional needs.

But why does Nurture have such a powerful influence on our behaviour?

The answer lies in our “three emotional centres”—head, heart, or body—that have been most active since birth. These centres shape how we process fear, whether through thought, feelings, or gut.

You see, during childhood, when these centres are still developing, we become more receptive to outside influences. Nurture taps into these emotional centres, guiding our responses because of our need to fit in, feel safe our desire to be loved, rather than aligning with our natural traits and who we are.

Over time, this need can create a disconnect from our true Nature, leading to feelings of misalignment, and a sense of confusion prompting us to wonder are we really truly happy.

Understanding Your Core: Nature and Emotional Centres

Let's learn more about Nature and what it means. Nature or your inherent state of being, represents your core self. It’s the unique DNA, gifts, and traits you were born with—a blueprint that guides you through life.

A significant part of this blueprint involves your emotional centres: head, heart, and body. Understanding these centres can help you uncover what drives your thoughts, emotions, and sensory responses. By recognising which centre primarily guides you, you gain deeper awareness of how you process experiences and interact with the world.

From birth, your dominant centre shapes your response to perceived threats, forming behaviour patterns that act as protective mechanisms. Over time, these patterns become the foundation for how you navigate and interpret the world around you.

The Three Emotional Centres: How Each Processes Emotions

• The Head Centre: Processes emotions through thoughts, often resulting in overanalysing or intellectualising experiences. For example, when faced with stress, someone led by the head centre might replay situations in their mind or seek logical explanations to feel in control.

  
  

• The Heart Centre: Processes emotions through feelings, placing emphasis on relationships and emotional connections. Those who primarily use the heart centre may find themselves deeply affected by others’ emotions and might prioritise harmony and validation in their interactions.

  
  

• The Body Centre: Processes emotions through gut instincts or sensory responses, relying on action and intuition. Individuals guided by the body centre often react instinctively, trusting their physical reactions and impulses when making decisions or facing challenges.

  
  

Exercise: Discover Your Dominant Emotional Centre

To explore which emotional centre guides your responses, try this simple exercise. Find a quiet space where you can reflect and tune into yourself without distractions.

1. Ask Yourself: Do you often overthink, feel deeply, or respond instinctively through physical sensations?

2. Reflect: Recall recent situations where you felt stressed or uncertain. What was your initial reaction? Did your mind race with thoughts, did you feel an emotional pull, or did you sense a physical response in your body?

3. Observe: Repeat this practice over time. The more you reflect on your reactions, the more you’ll begin to identify which emotional centre you rely on the most—your head, heart, or body.

   
   

With continued practice, recognising your dominant emotional centre can offer deeper insights into your natural tendencies and how you navigate the world.

Recognising your dominant emotional centre, especially during stress or uncertainty, provides insight into your natural tendencies. This awareness will help you understand your emotional reaction and move you towards connecting with your authentic self.

The Influence of Nurture: How Your Environment Shapes You

Nurture represents the environment you grew up in—your family, social circles, and all those you interacted with. If, as a child, you were not nurtured according to your dominant emotional centre, you may have felt that your emotional needs weren’t fully understood or supported.

As a result, you might have looked outside of your self to define who you are, gradually adopting the ideas and values of those around you. This leads to losing touch with your core and your true self, as you begin aligning with others' expectations of who you should be.

Understanding how your environment has shaped you allows you to recognise what isn’t truly yours, helping you identify behaviours or beliefs instilled from an early age. Many of us have grown up hearing phrases like, “Don’t be angry,” “Stop being so emotional,” or “Hurry up!” These statements often reflect someone else’s story, not yours.

Imagine if children were allowed to honour their emotional centres: thinkers taking time to process thoughts, feelers fully connecting with their emotions, and body-centred individuals slowing down to understand their reactions. Reclaiming this space for self-awareness is essential for living authentically and finding happiness.

How Nature and Nurture Work Together to Align Your Life

By examining the interplay of Nature and Nurture in shaping your emotional centres, you can gain insight into why you are where you are today.

When there’s a disconnect between Nature (your core traits) and Nurture (the learned coping mechanisms from your environment), it can result in feelings of being out of sync, confused, or uncertain. This sense of misalignment often leaves you questioning which parts of your identity are truly yours and which were imposed by external influences.

Your dominant emotional centre reveals how Nurture has shaped your coping mechanisms:

• Head Centre: If you process emotions through overanalysis, growing up in an environment where your ideas were dismissed may have amplified self-doubt and perfectionism.

• Heart Centre: If you are emotionally driven, an upbringing that invalidated your feelings could lead to people-pleasing or emotional suppression.

• Body Centre: If you instinctively react through your body, an environment discouraging self-expression may result in holding back, causing physical tension during stressful times.

  
  

Reconnecting with your Nature and embracing your core traits is key to aligning your life. This alignment lets love, joy, and peace flow naturally, revealing that the happiness you’ve been searching for has been within you all along.

Conclusion

There are many ways to start this journey. If you’re curious to dive deeper into understanding your natural state of being, I’ve included some resources below. And if you'd like more guidance, reach out—I’d love to work together to help you discover who you truly are and find the happiness that’s meant for you.

Why I Share My Path to Purpose

Hi, I’m Ines. I once believed that my Croatian background gave me the courage for deep conversations—often exploring topics that those around me tended to avoid. It wasn’t until my late forties that I made the decision to dive deeper into self-discovery and I uncovered my natural tendencies and accepted my true nature.

This experience has transformed how

I see myself, the world, and those around me.

I'm now committed more than ever to continuing these deep conversations and sharing what I’ve learned, so I can help others reconnect with their authentic selves. Because when we bring our true selves into the world, we create space for more, love, joy, and peace—and what a beautiful world that would be.

Feel free to connect with me over on LinkedIn or email me at info@girlstalkbusiness.com if you are interested to work with me.

Ines x

Suggested Resources for Further Exploration:

The Enneagram Institute – A comprehensive resource for delving deeper into the Enneagram, helping you explore the nine personality types and their emotional centres (head, heart, body). Visit The Enneagram Institute for more in-depth information and tools for personal growth.

Recommended Self-Reflection Exercise: I can’t recommend journaling enough, whether in a notebook or just quick notes on your phone. Tracking your thoughts and emotions is a powerful way to build self-awareness. Start with prompts like, “What triggered my emotional reaction today?” or “Which emotional centre did I rely on in this situation?”

Personality Assessments:  My personal go-to tool, which I use every day, is the Enneagram. Understanding your Enneagram type will help you finding your path to true happiness.

• Take an Enneagram test to discover your dominant type and emotional centre. Websites like Truity offer free tests to get you started, or you can invest in a more comprehensive analysis for deeper insights.

Further Reading:

• “The Road Back to You” by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile – A beginner-friendly guide to the Enneagram that connects personality types with personal and spiritual growth.

• “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves – A practical resource for enhancing emotional intelligence, crucial for aligning your actions with your true self.

  
  

Mindfulness and Staying Connected to Yourself:

My personal go-to app for daily motivation is Mantra. It’s simple and uplifting. If you prefer more structured mindfulness, Headspace and Calm are excellent for helping you connect to your emotional responses with kindness and without judgment.

Want to Go Deeper? Join one of my workshops or book a coaching session where we dive into the Enneagram or emotional intelligence. It’s a way to get personalised guidance and truly start applying these concepts to your life.